I was a fairly underconfident teen in 1994. As the new academic session began, our class was asked to move to the ‘big’ building in school that housed the senior secondary classes. I wasn’t excited but I had recently started loving some subjects. English and science in particular. In class nine, in a substitution period, a teacher started discussing with all of us what we wanted to be in our lives.
Half our class had not even given it any thought and were honest enough to admit it. Surprisingly, I was the one student who was very sure of what I wanted to be. And when it came my turn, I said clearly, I wanted to be a researcher; in science; in biology; not medicine. I did not know where the conviction was coming from. But I had a poster of Einstein in my room.
In two years, all of that dissipated. The enthusiasm, the conviction and the confidence of being able to do something. Different science teachers. I started hating physics and lost all confidence in my ability to get a passing grade in it.
And despite having scored a decent enough 94 out of 100 in science in class ten, I chose commerce. Because my school didn’t offer science without physics. I don’t know if the education board did. And everything I have done ever since has been marked by that one decision. A decision that was taken on the basis of low self esteem and a not so encouraging teacher. It brought about a change in my life that I could not go back on.
In retrospect, I feel I could have discussed it with someone, a friend, a family member, a teacher, school counsellor. I had enough listening ears, but I chose not to. Yet, in my ignorance, and poor self image, I took a decision that I cannot change till this day.
Today, when in a meeting of university professors, it was raised who should be ‘allowed’ to study certain subjects in undergraduate courses, I was taken back thirty years. And I am left wondering, have times changed? Are teenagers mature enough to take such life changing decisions now? Why can’t they be allowed to rectify mistakes, experiment and explore things.
If I score a zero in a subject, why can’t I be allowed a change to improve on it? And I understand the need to clear the foundations of a discipline before we move on to the next grade. But these are competitive examinations we are talking about. We hear of students of medicine studying public administration and clearing the coveted civil services examination. Subsequently, they are trained in the disciplines that they are required to know based on their specialised services. But at the university level, we want them to only appear in entrances and study subjects that they have already studied in class twelve. Not leaving space for mistakes.
A liberal approach would require students to learn from their pasts. If a foundational study is so essential, maybe they can be asked to do another certification that acts like a bridge course. Maybe they can be asked to meet a required percentage in the first mid semester, if they wish to continue the discipline they have chosen. Or maybe we can just stop making a fuss about students making a mistake, as long as it is an informed mistake. Let’s give people chances to be who they can best be.