i, like many my age, have several issues with the well accepted traditional arranged marriage system so integral a part of “our indian culture”. a lot of my friends, particularly men, have asked me often, “do you believe in arranged marriages?” i always asked, what’s there to believe? the system’s right here in front of us. well, i had never imagined that the system would hit me so hard… now neck deep in the “arrangement” of my marriage… that i think is being taken up by half this world.. family, colleagues, friends… i think it is only time before random people on the metro start proposing arranging my marriage with some “decent, punjabi munda, working in mnc”. thank you so much. i appreciate the concern! (no sarcasm intended. i really do appreciate it.)
but one of the many things i have not been able to understand in this whole system, is the series of questions we have to endure… i mean, is it just me, or are there others out there who feel that these series of questions are quite mindless. wouldn’t you know more about a person by chit chatting for an hour, rather than asking questions like- aapki hobbies kya kya hain? (smoking pot?? anyone?) khana banana aata hai? (does maggi count?) and koi boyfriend hai? (i mean, helloooooooo…)
well for lack of anything better to ask (i guess only talking is against the rules, you’ve got to ask), i would grant these questions and answer “decently”. but there’s this one question that i just don’t have an answer to “is there anything you would like to ask me?”. i mean, what am i supposed to say? i usually dodge it by going back to the talking funda (refer the previous paragraph and the first line of this paragraph). but, in response to this question, here is a list of questions i do want to ask-
1. can you hold your drink? or do you not drink coz you can’t hold it?
2. do you have some kind of disgusting skin disease?
3. have you kept count on the no. of women you’ve been with?
4. do you snore? or sleep talk? or sleep walk?
5. do you believe in extra marital affairs? or polygamy?
6. are you bisexual?
7. are you pedophilic?
8. do you have a girl-friend you love but are just too chicken to say it?
9. do you have aids? (atleast know if you have it)
10. what are you hiding?
next time someone asks me this question, i am directing them to this blog.
Disclaimer: The list is not exhaustive and is under constant review. Anything you say, can and will be used against you.