Susan Cain
2013
Penguin
pp. 352
Susan Cain’s book is an excellent read, particularly for introverts who have for long wondered why they can’t seem to adjust to the world. While the introversion-extraversion debate continues in academic circles, the popular conception is to divide people into introverts and extroverts. This book is an insight in how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you and your behaviour. Why we are all misunderstood at least some of the times if not most of the times is contextualised into the way people have a tendency to respond to situations. This again is seen to be at least partly based on personality types. Cain acknowledges that this typology is not definite but needs to be seen on a continuum.
While many psychological debates of heredity, environment, cultural contextualisation and the like have been raised and discussed at length, the book is not theoretical. It is written simply and is readable by everyone. Parents and teachers would find many useful strategies to understand children and help them to become the best versions of themselves.
I liked Cain’s explanation of the extroversion ideal that is so often promoted. However, at times introversion was also presented as an equally ideal quality. This can be problematic. Everyone needs to be appreciated and allowed to be themselves, not what is desirable.
For me, the book holds great potential for gaining personal insight. Maybe I was looking for reaffirmation, but I felt several times, that finally someone understood the experience of being me. The compulsion for conversation, social engagement and continuous attempt to meet people’s expectations is so exhausting. The noise outside and the noise inside together create a cacophony that makes it impossible to be at peace. The stories shared in this book are inspirational in presenting possibility of balancing personal needs with social expectation.